[ Mosh the Toemato ] 11:07:00 PM
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There was an article in the Nat Geo mag that caught my eye.
It had a picture of a sister holding her brother close. Her eyes filled with love and gratitude.
Her brother was an avid climber and photographer. He travelled the world and was known for his personality. A twist in his life came when a piece of concrete smashed into the vehicle he was in. Suffering from brain damage, he stayed in a coma for months.
Friends from all over the world showered him with concern with his family standing by him.
How short is life? It truly takes something drastic to bring gratitude to the simplest of things. I am thankful for my parents every single day. This probably isn't the most flattering of pictures of them, but they are amazing.
I am setting out on a journey, to try as many things as I can.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 11:04:00 PM
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I am losing faith with gratitude.
It has lost its essence with each favor give.
Each time receiving lip service, eventually dwindling to nothing.
Probably not even remembering my existence, until a need arrives.
First thing that pops to mind is to knock on my door.
First thing I ever did was to help.
I am running out of patience.
Feed on my grace no more.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 6:51:00 PM
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The generations that are here today, hold tribute to the lady that has toiled through the years. She was endearing and selfless. I would look forward to each Chinese New Year visit to my ah ma's place. Everyone would gather for dinner and I vividly remember, eagerly receiving her ang baos. It would always be a $50 note.
She's gone now, but she left so much behind. The night I stayed at the wake, my cousin (age 41) and I started to really get to know one another. He shared how he got to where he was, a director, driving a luxurious car and a great family. The values ah ma inculcated into him, he shared with me. From a time of poverty, without even money for his textbooks, with a complicated family, he managed to survive it all.
Ah ma, I saw everyone's love for you in their tears today.
and mine.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 10:11:00 PM
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My apparent hatred for public transport seems to be diminishing now. I detested crowded trains and people that just simply refuse to move towards the center of the car. I still do, but I've seen the exact same things on the roads these days.
Imagine a snaking long queue of cars at a U-turn point. A Jaguar cruises into the chevron markings at the start of the queue. No one makes a sound. No horn, no vulgarities and no one battered an eyelid. I glanced into the car and two little girls in their uniforms peered out at me. What would they make of it?
I mean, you send your girls to a prestigious school, drive a luxury car and probably would claim that you "want the best for my little girls." Then you educate them through your actions, which they will definitely emulate. What then, with the best education, will become of the next generation of Singaporeans?
Without doubt, he would be one of those that complains, but never practices what he preaches.
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Definition of a friend.
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
What would constitute the characteristics of a true friend?
Would you allow these values to vary from person to person?
Comparing one friend to another, I am becoming slightly disappointed.
Many say, attitude is key. Without talent and knowledge, you will be judged on your effort. Why pay lip service when your don't mean it at all? Words lose their value after they've been thrown around that much. Did you even make the effort to do anything?
Sincerity.
I am disappointed.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 10:43:00 AM
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This year's reunion dinner was awkward and predictable. As any james bond movie would have it, the plot is generally the same. The folks arrive and we gather round the table for our yearly steamboat and hotplate. 
There's the usual banter and gossip around the adult's table, but my table had little chatter. I tried to strike up conversations, only to find that the cousins I once enjoyed playing with have grown so distant. Based on vague memories, I grab at anything to keep the conversation going. Most of the time getting replies like, "Erm.. I went to the US 2 years ago.."
Argh. Awkward. My interest in talking didn't seem to rub off on them. Before I knew it, some of them had left. Probably had an appointment with a friend. We used to stay up through the night and only left past midnight.
We still hung on to a couple of traditional things though. My aunt whipped up a Hainanese dish, vermicelli with cuttlefish and spring onions. I love it.
After my grandma left, no one visits my place anymore. Relations are straining and I feel sad that things have to come to this. The cookies and chocolates sit snugly in their red containers till now. I wonder if there will even be a reunion dinner in time to come.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 7:09:00 PM
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Strangely, various memories that were stored in their archives tend to flutter past when my mind takes a breather. The recent army experiences seem so surreal. All the pain and suffering that I actually went through, can be simply summarized with a sentence. I look around and hope for a promising future, wishing and dreaming of what's to come.
But I cannot help and watch time fly. My Sister is no longer a baby, my parents are older and my grandma is in the old folks home. I shan't procrastinate any longer, this Saturday will be the day I visit her.
Looking at myself, there isn't really much to show. I am extremely grateful for the people I've met. I'd probably be dying in a corner without their help.
I am probably the worse writer in the entire blogosphere. Penning down fragmented thoughts as my mind spins.
Alright, back to zombie smashing.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 9:02:00 PM
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It was a reunion of friends at LP's wedding. The whole bunch of the Sakura gang were there to share his joy and to have some shark's fin + abalone + prawns + fish + GINGKO NUTS. (Good for the brain ya?)
I wonder who started the Chinese wedding tradition and who started the trend that dinners had to be held at a hotel. I can only imagine how it feels walking into the ball room with all your relatives and friends cheering. But the thing is, I would rather use the money to pay for the house or go to Japan for a honeymoon.
Time does fly. It was not so long ago that I used to tag along to LP's comic shops or go to his place and .. I'm not sure what we did. Learn to play KOF? Which failed miserably. Then again I remember the times when we slacked in school, ate duck rice and slacked in school... Oh. I mentioned that already? Hahah looks like we didn't do much huh?
Anyhow, he's married now and probably in due time, a father. How do you change your status overnight? I wonder how it feels, its not as though changing your status in facebook will make anything different.
Married.
Looking forward to it. ; )
Congrats LP!!!
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 10:56:00 AM
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