My mind's heavy and my body weary. I listen to my cousins discussing their future ambitions with great detail even at the tender age of 13. They put me to shame.
So many things I regret not doing or have done. Every step in life is a building block for one's character. I cannot see many blocks in mine.
I have exactly 3 more weekends till D-day.
Im watching this show on channel 8. This little boy's deaf and his mom's got no money for a hearing aid. she works her ass off, cleaning houses but she gets raped by this bastard. What the fuck man. What the fuck.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 11:47:00 PM
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Just after typing the post below, I went for a jog. At least it was supposed to be a jog. I found myself increasing the pace as I went along.
To the point I was sprinting till my fucking legs were moving faster than my body.
Now, I can;t sleep. Listening to random songs on pandora, the stillness in the air, the sweat beads down my back, the churning acids in my stomach. I don't feel like moving.
There're two orange bars flashing at the taskbar. One's Ah fu, the other's Nurul Aliah; Light of supremity. I think her name's really cool, hope my kids will have such powerful names as well.
She rockclimbs, plays soccer, runs, reads and is totally crazy. A blast chatting to her.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 12:22:00 AM
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Friday, May 12, 2006
<
Pulau Ubin still proved itself as a rural getaway for me. Exploring new routes up and down hills were a huge plus.
I've always had a thing for the crisp crackling of the rocks and sand under my feet. Well, life always has a way about making an irony of things. Probably in a few months time, this very sound I enjoy so much would be the very grounds of my torture. I will dread hearing it.
While swimming a few days ago, I tried to push myself for another lap of freestyle. Oh, that really got to me. I was so tired and thirsty, my body wouldnt move.
I was surrounded by water, the very thing my body desired to have. But to open my mouth would be the biggest mistake. Water that would saved me, might actually have killed me.
Some words were said to me today that really struck me hard. Don't try to justify lies to me. Ask yourself how many times I've paid for your fucking 'no money' days. Well, you'll probably not remember any of that. Which explains the ungrateful act.
B u l l s h i t
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 8:46:00 PM
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
<A vacuum.
In exactly one month, I will we eating, watching, feeling, sleeping grass for two tumultuous years.
To be honest, everything still feels like a dream. Fuzzy and surreal.
I finished my shower and i realised the door was left ajar.
Grabbed a toothbrush, squeezed a generous load of toothpaste and shoved it into my mouth. I paused and wondered why the hell i was brushing my teeth when I haven't even had dinner.
The bristles were extremely hard and stiff, which made me realise I was using my brother's toothbrush instead.
I had sometime to rockclimb in the morning and then started an aimless walk along the road. I hit little India and continued till simlim tower. I had no idea what I was doing there but went to the highest floor and down again.
I bought ice cream with bread and made way towards bugis. Had lunch and went home. I realise this little red dot has alot to offer.
I wanna ride in a trishaw.
[ Mosh the Toemato ] 8:26:00 PM
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Monday, May 08, 2006
Lower pierce reservoir. Anyone interested to try fishing at this new location? Jiawei and Ah fu please indicate your off days. Hahah