Friday, April 07, 2006

On the 10th of June I will be stepping onto
the dreaded island, Tekong. I will be shaven
bald and clothed in grey shirts labelling me
as their slave.

This is, or so i believe, my awakening call
and the greatest test of our love.


Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue what
to expect of army life. Except hell.
CCK to Tekong.. hmmm.........



[ Mosh the Toemato ] 10:38:00 PM

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I am the lone ranger.

My colleagues have officially been sacked yesterday.
Cutting down manpower, they say.

All those that preach about how much injustice they've
suffered from the Singapore goverment, should really just
shut up. Pleaseeee migrate!

And those that go, "typical, ugly singaporeans have no class"
should really, really, really jab their whole fist up their
asshole and dig something out that, isnt singaporean!

Im not referring to the western accent you fake or that
your uncle is born overseas, or you have a caucasian boyfriend
that makes you feel any mightier than any of the aunties at the markets.

I dont geddit. Why look down on yourself and pretend that you arent
any part of it? I am bloody sure that there are people in other
parts of the world that are just as kiasu as we are.

"Where are you from, mate?"

"er.. im actually from canada lar."

"KNN MAI HAO SIAO!!! YOU FROM SIN-GAR-PORE!!!!"



[ Mosh the Toemato ] 8:49:00 AM

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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Credits to Marvin, the doorstopper.

J: Eh, do you think i look fierce?
Me: er... No?
J: Dunno leh alot of pple say I look fierce. Like ah beng.
Me: ....

J: Eh, you got girl friend ah?
"ya."
J: Got have sex anot?
"?!?!??!?!?!?! No?"
J:HUH!!! U LOSER AH!!! U VIRGIN AH!!!
"ah huh."
J:WAH LAU U VIRGIN!!! i tell u lar, that time i go geylang
find this thai prostitute, she wear the bikini make her boobs
so big, later take off SO SMALL!!! cant even turn me on lor.

Btw, he's only 17. I really dont think prostitutes will take off
their clothes without you paying would they? A naked woman cant
turn him on? wahahahahhaha did he just bitch slap him self in the nuts?

Every picture of a girl in my hp he remarks "WHOA NOT BAD LEH INTRO LEH"
"WHOA LEANNE NOT BAD LEH"
leanne's my niece like 6 years old? i think he was referring to her mum.
Bleah.



[ Mosh the Toemato ] 9:46:00 AM

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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Young are ignorant and foolish.

Since 1st April, I've been stationed at a Community Center
filling forms and stuff with regards to the progess package
scheme.

I guess the next few entries would probably be about asswipes
and the sort.

There was this uncle that approached me asking for TEN forms.
He then proceeds to say, I quote
" I'm not thankful for the money. Its peanuts! The goverment
is only doing this as an election gimmick! I'm not afraid to
say this, but im not condemming the goverment.

I dont care if Singapore is No.1 in everything. Why should it
be? I don't want this fast paced life. I just want to go
through life slowly! Look at Cananda, Australia, Switzerland,
their goverments have welfare for the aged!! Singapore?
Nothing! The goverment looks to the rich and not the poor!
I will take this money and vote for the opposition!"

He spoke to me for about an hour so I cant really recall everything.
The irony is, he stays in a landed property and is retired.
He says that people have big houses and have no cash in the banks.

Isnt that your own bloody fault? Buy a big house for what? suck cock?
Blame the goverment? lauging my brains off man.

I said to him "so uncle, you want to go back to kampong days or
you going to migrate to Australia and start a farm and grow vegetables?"

His reply "ANYTHING!"

Oh ya, his favorite sentences were, "You are young, you dont know"

or "But that's beside the point"


----------------------------------------

Okay bear with me, Im really bored stoning all day
so let me blog.

I've just got transferred to another CC. My collegue's
this 17 year old guy, relatively long hair, goth black fingernails,
baggy-torn jeans, rocker shirt, blasts his mp3 player as loud as a
radio, HP filled with rocker songs.

First impression? I knew this would be hell.
He picks up my phone, plays with it for a really long
time. Honestly my phone's so old there's nothing to
play lar.

I get suspicious, but each time i walk over, he covers
the screen. WTF???? this guy give me the creeps!
He remarks "ah? you no bluetooth ah?"
"aiyo no MMS also?"

wtf??? wad he wanna send to himself man.
after fiddling with my phone he instantly walks out and makes a
call. wah lau. psycho one lor.

Anyways, he told me he's taking mass comm, ADVANCED mass comm and
some other shit in a private institution. got ah?
Then he asks me,

"So what do your conversations consists of? Politics or
current trends?"

WHAHAHAHAHAHA I almost fell off the damn chair. hahahahaha
Who the shit talks like tat.

I asked if he played the guitar or the drums(he kept tapping his fingers
on the tables as if he knew)

He didnt, so i remarked "oh, i thought you were a rocker"

A few minutes of silence, then "Aint no Po-seur"
I was like huh????
he said PO-SEUR.
wahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha
sibeh act leh.

You know what? he claims he's MIXED because, get this,
his uncle is born in San francisco. HUH?!!??!?!
what's tat gotta do with him! omfg...

hahahahahahhaha this can go on forever.



[ Mosh the Toemato ] 8:38:00 AM

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